Dear Mr Bolton,

Thankyou for your correspondence regarding your much beloved family Auroch. I do hope that your delightful spouse Bimbo was not too distraught. I suppose that her being dead of course would render this as extremely unlikely. You seemed extremely keen on having it returned. It is therefore truly unfortunate that I came into possession of your email after the 5pm Friday deadline had expired. One can only presume that you no longer wish it to be returned and would consider that 'anything goes'. I would like to add that it has been very useful in unblocking our smelly and foul drains that flow into the septic tank. The cash from the Pepsi commercial was certainly of benefit to my depleted coffers as I can use it to buy more Aurochs. You may well call it exploitation, but I call it 'free enterprise'. Nuff said.

Yours faithfully,
Guy Foster