Osborne Park Council
Perth, Western Australia 6017

Andrew Bolton
67r Chalon Ave
OSBORNE PARK WA 6017

Dear Mr Bolton

Thank you very much for your letter of the 11th February concerning, as you see it, the "outrageous" shape of your toilet.
Unfortunately, the obligations of your local council extend only as far as the provision of sewage facilities in the area, and we cannot be held responsible for the shape of any individual apparatus. Certainly the shape of the pan you describe (your drawings are returned herewith) would appear to be traditional).
I was naturally distressed to hear of the effect that this "mad toilet" is having on your mental health. Your nightmares, accompanied, as you claim, by the "banshee howls" akin to the sound of "two enmeshed chainsaws (two-stroke)" would only become the responsibility of the local authority if complaints were received from other tenants in the complex. This Department has no record of any such correspondence.
I therefore cannot entertain your request for a Community Charge rebate, merely on the basis of the "horrifying scenes" you describe, and the blame which you directly attribute to the curvature of your lavatory.

Yours sincerely
G.M. Nuttall