Dear Mr Wambaugh,

Your help in my case would be most welcome. While most of the facts of my case - from the initial death of my pet Capybara, through to the 'hamster pie incident' - are well documented, I have so far had difficulty proving that my wielding of a machete on flight BW935 was in defence against a cobra. You may be able to supply just the evidence I need. Of course you can stay at my home in Osborne Park. The key to the door is under the cat - it isn't actually alive, it is stuffed. Lift up its tail. As for letting you know at the nearest convenience - that is a part of my life of which I am very ashamed, and am trying to put behind me. Please, don't speak of it again! You can of course come to see me at Casuarina, as you have previously suggested.

Yours in gratitude,
Andrew Bolton.